So what do you feel is better for a relashionship? Honesty or dishonesty?

I have heard from many that telling the truth is the only way to go, and yet others say that true love is caring enough to lie to your partner, that one tells the truth and hurts their partner only because it makes you feel better in the end.

How do you feel on relashionships, telling the truth verses living a lie?

xoxo
Amoni

I tell you this to tell you this...

I believe in being honest and telling the truth, but I also believe that my business is mine and no one else's. If I don't talk about my business with family, friends and relationships it's because they wouldn't understand it. The only one who can understand the reasons and experiences I go through on a regular basis on this field, is someone who does the same.
This business is very difficult to understand, your mind has to be strong enough to deal with every new situation you encounter either is good or bad. No man or woman could understand it if they have not been in it because they will have to experience it in order to comprehend its complexity.
I don't think I lie because I don't talk about my business to my SO(when there is one) I don't think they need to know because when I'm in a relationship I give myself to him. Some might call me dishonest, but in reality, for a man this business is very difficult to deal with, and if is not difficult it's because he might be getting the financial benefits from it(which I refuse to do in a relationship).

Relationships are complicated, period! Two individuals who are completely different in most ways are trying to understand, accomodate, love, communicate, sympathize, empathize, please,and connect with eachother and one another. That by itself, it's difficult, exausting and enough to deal within a relationship. Now to bring another subject(like this business)in the relationship where only one of you will be able to reason in a mature and rational manner, it's almost impossible!

Just my thoughts...

Good luck!

Valeria

Ashley

Play Safe, Party Harder, and Remember Sunblock

I met my husband 8 months into "The Business."

I met him on my bowling league - just a "regular guy."

I told him the truth - that I was an "FBSM" provider that I had a couple of clients that I had FS with (selectively) and let him sort it out.

It was hard for him at first, we got serious, and we made "rules."

Like a lot of couples in the "adult industry", you have to mold your business into what you BOTH feel comfortable with.

He got laid off early into the serious part of our relationship - but he got trained and went on to run my other credit repair/estate planning business (a vestige of my former mortgage company) is currently in retraining through a new union.

He was never a "pimp" and was never "lazy" in any sense of the word.

He doesnt' drink, smoke or use drugs.

IN FACT -

When he proposed, and asked me to stop FS - I did - and have never provided it since; we got married soon after - and he adopted my daughter last January.

My daughter started calling my hubby "daddy" soon after our marriage.
We got a picture of the three of us taken and put it in a white/gold locket with the date of our union as a family. He put it around her neck and said vows after he put the ring on my finger.

My daughter's father was a firefighter in another part of the state who thought it was "OK" to be married to more than one woman.

I didn't know about my daughter's father's other wife - after we were married - he'd already asked me for a planned pregnancy and my daughter's father's SISTER told me. OMG....

He signed his rights away a long time ago - but we still get his monthly checks (out of guilt - I guess).

Anyway - I believe everything in life happens for a reason.

If my daughter is capable, there is a good "nest-egg" for her and she will definitely go to a great college if she chooses to.

If not, her trust fund is set up conditionally and she can live a good life - free of those constraints if she choose to also.

I have made every provision...

But Girls...

If you have bad experiences - and I've had my share -

you can "squeeze out the GOOD" in order to help others through their lessons and serve as a "teacher's aide of sorts."

I have a beautiful little 10 year old girl. I only work when she's at school, with my parents or at the tutor's.....

And although the hubby got laid off in his old union, he is blessed enough to be retraining in a new one and running my other business wiht my adult sons now.

Everything works out the way it's supposed to be.

We are sometimes teachers and students at the same time.

**BIG HUGS** - Be aware and PAY ATTENTION.

No matter how you look at it, lies kill relationships, hearts and souls.

You can't love a lie. Also can not truly except any love given to you that is based on a lie.

All truth is love and real love takes courage and humility.

I think someone once said, "We have nothing to fear but fear itself." I agree.

I'm sorry but I think that anyone who says lies are something born of love or justifies lies out of love is full of shit. Lies are the verbal communication (or lack there of) born of fear and ego, a catalyst for pain and misdirection.

Who knows why we would want to lie, maybe you have a fear that you are not deserving love or acceptance... maybe it's a fear of losing love ... or even more fun, a fear of being loved for who you really are despite not loving/liking yourself, that's a fun one.

This may not be a popular opinion but I think if you don't have the courage to face who you are in an open way you should not be in a relationship to begin with. If you can't be totally honest there will always be a void. Over time that void gets filled with ugly things... painful, ugly things.

KJ
Yeah, I know... but I can't help it.

" Men, you cant live
with them and you
can't kill them!"

"Party like a RockStar,
Live like a Movie Star
F#*k like a Porn Star"

xoxoxoKreamyitalianxoxoxox

While I agree that honesty is the best policy, being honest doesnt excuse bad behavior. Alot of guys now adays think that if they tell the truth about their infidelity or sneaky ways, that it takes the burden of guilt off their shoulders. So they are happy to tell you they were with another woman, or desire another woman, because it helps them relieve their own guilt. And, if your a dumb ass bitch you will fall for that bullshit.

IN MY EYES, just because a person is 100% honest about being an asshole, only makes them a 100% ASSHOLE. And, then for a person to justify their actions by saying, "at least I was honest" is a way to in-validate the other persons natural feelings behind such activities. Why wouldnt someone be upset that the person they love is having sex with someone else? Isnt that a natural reaction? I think one should be more concerned about the sensitivity level of their significant other, rather than JUST their honesty. Is this person being kind, respecting you as a human being, treating you with sensitivity and nurturing your feelings? Giving you the full explanation you deserve and not making you feel bad for your emotions? Is your significant other treating you with the same respect they would have you treat them with? Is it a one way street?