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Sierra916
Member since 8-Oct-06
238 posts		 29-May-09, 12:15 PM (PST)
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"How do you have a relationship being a provider"
 
   I am in a relationship and he has NO idea what I do. I want to move on further with things, But how do you do this? How do you tell someone what you do? Just stuck in thoughts and wondered if any of you are in this type of situation?

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young_bbw_916
Member since 16-Aug-08
169 posts		 30-May-09, 05:18 AM (PST)
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1. "RE: How do you have a relationship being a provider"
In response to message #0
 
I don't usually have relationships but I tell the guy what I do before getting into something serious....Otherwise it's really difficult. I don't know what to tell you though. Wish I had better advice.

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EveryFlavor69
Member since 11-Jun-07
22 posts		 10-Jun-09, 09:31 PM (PST)
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2. "RE: How do you have a relationship being a provider"
In response to message #0
 
   I NEVER KEPT MY OCCUPATION A SECRET FROM MY BOYFRIEND. I TOLD HIM UPFRONT ON OUR FIRST REAL DATE. I SAID "IF U DONT LIKE IT THEN U DONT HAVE TO B WITH ME. BUT DECIDE NOW. DONT WAIT UNTIL I FALL IN LOVE WITH U AND THEN DECIDE ITS TOO MUCH FOR U. THEN WE BOTH GET HURT." HE SAID HE COULD DEAL WITH IT, AND THAT I WAS WORTH IT.
WE HAVE OUR ISSUES THO, DONT GET ME WRONG. SOME DAYS HE REALLY CANT TAKE IT. SOME DAYS HES FINE WITH IT. I TRY TO REMIND HIM THAT EVEN THOUGH HE HAS TO SHARE MY BODY, MY HEART BELONGS TO HIM. SOMETIMES HE SAYS THATS ENOUGH. BUT SUMTIMES HE WANTS MORE... HE WANTS ME TO HIMSELF. I AM FILLED WITH GUILT, I TRY TO MAKE UP FOR IT BY SPOILING HIM, BUYING HIM EVERYTHING HE COULD EVER DESIRE- CLOTHES, CARS, STUFF FOR HIS KIDS. LIKE MAYBE IF HE CAN ENJOY THE FRUITS OF MY LABOR, HE WONT B BOTHERED SO MUCH BY THE LABOR. IN THE END, IT DOESNT WORK. AND THE FEELINGS HE HAS R NOT GOING TO GO AWAY UNTIL I STOP THIS LINE OF WORK.
ITS JUST ONE OF OUR MANY OBSTICLES. EVERY COUPLE HAS THEM. WE LOVE EACHOTHER, AND SO FAR THATS BEEN ENOUGH TO KEEP US TOGETHER. BUT ITS NOT EASY.
I SUGGEST THAT U TELL YOUR BOYFRIEND SOONER RATHER THEN LATER. ESPECIALLY IF YOU ARE GOING TO B SEXUAL WITH HIM. HE DESERVES TO KNOW THE RISKS HE IS TAKING, SINCE YOURE SLEEPING WITH OTHER GUYS. JUST REMIND HIM THAT US WORKING GIRLS ARE CLEANER AND SAFER THEN THE AVERAGE SEXUALLY ACTIVE PERSON.. SINCE WE ARE ALWAYS SAFE AND ALWAYS USE PROTECTION. GOOD LUCK

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SashaXrated
Member since 18-Oct-06
16 posts		 25-Jun-09, 06:17 PM (PST)
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3. "RE: How do you have a relationship being a provider"
In response to message #0
 
You are seriously going to hurt his feelings. I think you should tell him especially if you are not planning to quit. You can't keep this secret forever. One way or another, your S.O (the one closest to you) will find out. It will probably help you not feel so bad all the time too.

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celeste_luvs
Member since 19-May-08
137 posts		 13-Jul-09, 12:34 PM (PST)
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4. "RE: How do you have a relationship being a provider"
In response to message #0
 
   If you ever want a chance with the guy, you must be honest with him. Its also very important not to mix your relationship and work. Do not discuss your work at all with him. It only makes it harder for them . Good Luck.

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digiwongababe
Member since 2-Oct-06
1010 posts		 31-Jul-09, 10:07 PM (PST)
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5. "RE: How do you have a relationship being a provider"
In response to message #0
 
I am in a wonderful relationship with my boyfriend but it took work to get here.

At first I did not tell him at all what I was doing and he found out. He googled an accidental e-mail to him from my handles e-mail. Oops. It broke his heart and in turn mine. We almost didnt start this because of it. We have been together 3 yrs (known eachother 4). We have a very strong relationship but it took time for his heart to mend. He still hates the thought of me in this business and he is accepting of it now (to an extent). He knows my mind and soul are his. It was hard for both of us for a bit but now he doesnt ask about "my day" and I offer no info on how work went.

My advice is be very honest with him. What is done in the dark eventually comes to the light and he will find out eventually. Best you to tell him than letting him "find" you. I would let him know that you would like to discuss something with him. Let him know what you are doing and why you do it. This could go either way in the relationship so I would do it at the time you feel is right but definately sooner is better than later. At least if he should feel like he can't have a relationship with you then you haven't wasted time in keeping this secret.

Or...

Get out NOW. Never look back and pray that he never finds out.

Just my opinion
Kath

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CaitlynKennedy
Member since 14-Aug-03
3479 posts		 02-Aug-09, 01:29 PM (PST)
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6. "RE: How do you have a relationship being a provider"
In response to message #0
 
it depends on the guy.. my ex before was totally ok with my being a escort, he understood the difference between work and love.....work was work and love is love....


he was understanding about it and it was fine


however, not all men are that understanding my new relationship, is someone I have known for 15 years, but the timing was never right as he was married, or in a relationship and I was in a relationship etc....

well we reconnected on facebook, and now are pursuing a relationship, I was honest about what I did, as I think the best thing is to be honest so that there aren't any lies or bad feelings. Its bound to come out.

well, I told him about my job and also I had started doing FBSM

well he straight up told me he would be ok with fbsm even oral bbbj and kissing and daty etc
he just wanted the intercourse, greek any lower body penetration to kept between just he and I , and I agreed, because i think its best to be honest and have a mutual agreement. This keeps the relationship from having resentment etc

so I am dropping the F/S as of the 15th and just doing fbsm

so my answer, is tell him and come up with a mutual agreement or as digi said get out quick

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spinnersummer
Member since 3-Feb-09
132 posts		 11-May-10, 00:14 AM (PST)
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18. "RE: How do you have a relationship being a provider"
In response to message #6
 
Same here my boyfriend thought it was fine as long as work was work and I didnt bring my work home. Its really the guy. I say if he really loves you he would understand why you do the job you do. If you have true love and its strong then it will work.. Trust is the key and honesty... Love Summer

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Erica_C
Member since 4-Apr-10
2 posts		 26-Sep-10, 04:45 PM (PST)
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25. "RE: How do you have a relationship being a provider"
In response to message #6
 
   True. depends on the guy.

I've had boyfriends who struggled with it, and am now dating someone who is comfortable with it to the point that he wants to listen to how my day was if I want to share it. Listen to your intuition and common sense to tell you how a person would react to you telling them.

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Sierra916
Member since 8-Oct-06
238 posts		 09-Aug-09, 10:35 AM (PST)
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7. "RE: How do you have a relationship being a provider"
In response to message #0
 
   Well, I broke it off with him.. I Just couldn't do it.. I think its best for me personally to stay single while in the "Business"
I dont share with anyone what I do, Never have and I dont think I would ever rally be comfortable sharing that..
Thank You for all your responses =)


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Farrah88
Member since 28-Apr-08
8636 posts		 02-Sep-09, 10:07 PM (PST)
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9. "RE: How do you have a relationship being a provider"
In response to message #7
 
>Well, I broke it off with him.. I Just couldn't do it.. I
>think its best for me personally to stay single while in the
>"Business"
>I dont share with anyone what I do, Never have and I dont
>think I would ever rally be comfortable sharing that..
>Thank You for all your responses =)


I'm proud of you for doing that. I don't think any man would want his woman to be doing this. Its a dangerous job, and intimacy is also very special. The more you have sex with strangers the more desensitized you will become to the real act of love making.

I believe a man should want to protect you and keep you out of harms way. Plus there is shit you could bring home to him not knowing. Stay single and if you do find the right man do not tell him on the first date. Wait it out and then tell him, but don't let the first word out your mouth be is I'm a Escort.

Very proud of you, and think you did the right thing for you right now. I wish I could win the lottery there are a few of you I would love to see get of this business and be safe once and for all. xoxoxo

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MsVeronicaM
Member since 21-Oct-08
136 posts		 06-Aug-10, 12:04 PM (PST)
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22. "RE: How do you have a relationship being a provider"
In response to message #7
 
   That was a very smart and respectful decision on your part...my 2 cents is that if a man really cares he will not be able deal with his lady having sex with other men and if they SAY they accept it inside it is eatting them alive, also we ALL know how dangerous this business is and if a man REALLY loves you he will do whatever it takes to see you not getting hurt or killed...Which will only go so far...I tried it when I first started this online business and he was fine at first and then all of a sudden started asking weird questions about what I was doing? and being rude...I then knew it was not going to work...So I cut it off...I too believe its best to stay single while you are in business...yes its very lonely but in the end it will save you and your SO alot of drama and heartache...

MsVeronicaM

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Nicole_Rose
Member since 23-Jan-09
296 posts		 11-Aug-09, 06:25 PM (PST)
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8. "RE: How do you have a relationship being a provider"
In response to message #0
 
I am a pessimist but I don't see how it is possible

Don't Hate...Fornicate

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Love4money
Member since 23-May-07
202 posts		 03-Dec-09, 08:03 PM (PST)
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10. "RE: How do you have a relationship being a provider"
In response to message #0
 
   ~Speaking from experience.....

U DON'T!! ALL BAD!!! TRUST ME! BAD IDEA...I'D NEVER DO IT AGAIN... BIG MISTAKE....

get the point?

xoxox{{Sexy~Marlena}}xoxox

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ShaySilva
Member since 6-Aug-09
51 posts		 08-Dec-09, 11:12 PM (PST)
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11. "RE: How do you have a relationship being a provider"
In response to message #10
 
I had a wonderful relationship with a man
(never a client) for two years....

The only problem was that I always had money and he NEVER did!
It finally took its toll on me and I broke off the relationship...

I was just tired of paying his rent ext...

* Being Honest is sooo important also not bring work home..
* And.. find a man who can hold his own...lol

Shay XOXO

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lydialove_09
Member since 30-Aug-09
272 posts		 31-Dec-09, 02:51 AM (PST)
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12. "RE: How do you have a relationship being a provider"
In response to message #0
 
For me personally, I choose not to have any sort of "relationship" while I am providing...it's heartwrenching and complicated at best. Yeah...I can get lonely, but I would never want a man to look at me and associate me with providing. It's different if you are with someone and it's something of the past, then he at least didn't see all of the things we go through as escorts...it could really scar a relationship in my opinion or almost always breaks it apart

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Shannonstar18
Member since 15-Nov-08
237 posts		 08-Jan-10, 09:18 PM (PST)
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13. "RE: How do you have a relationship being a provider"
In response to message #12
 
   LAST EDITED ON 08-Jan-10 AT 09:19 PM (PST)
 
You have to find a man that is one a winner not a junkie or crackhead nor a struggling musician, artist or rapper. Also two someone who is about money not a loser. Three someone who is comfortable with you fucking and sucking other men for money and inspires and encourages you to be the best. Oh and four someone you are compatible with.

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damsexy21
Member since 28-Nov-09
110 posts		 11-Jan-10, 01:09 PM (PST)
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14. "RE: How do you have a relationship being a provider"
In response to message #0
 
   SEXY NE NE SOMETIME MEN GET REALLY MAD BUT IF HES ABOUT MONEY AND YALL STUGGLEING THEN HE WOULD UNDERSTAND BUT IF HES STUCK UP THEN HE WILL LEAVE FIND ANOTHER MORE FISH IN THE SEA THAT WOULD LOVE A GIRL GETTIN MONEY AND TRYEN TO GET THE FINNER THING IN LIFE

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sexyaces209
Member since 23-Sep-09
1 posts		 16-Jan-10, 06:17 PM (PST)
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15. "RE: How do you have a relationship being a provider"
In response to message #0
 
   my bf and i have been together for almost years and he's known about me being a provider since we got together. though he has tried to be totally okay with it, i can see how its affected him, myself, us. i have done a very good job at keeping business seperate from my personal life. to keep the relationship "fair" i've always told him that i dont care if he fukd with every girl in the world; i want the respect. if i was to need you for something and he happened to be with another female, id expect for him to drop all that and come to me. thats what i do for him. i know he doesn't understand the extent to which i take that but i he's understanding alot more these days. he's made alot of changes. i wouldnt be suprised if the "understanding" is really just the scar tissue from all the pain... we are still together, still trying to figure it out.

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alialovs
Member since 21-Feb-10
4 posts		 26-Mar-10, 11:45 AM (PST)
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16. "RE: How do you have a relationship being a provider"
In response to message #15
 
　　　　　　　　　　　　　　”ＳＵＣＫＥＲＳ”

ｐ．ｓ．　ｗｈａｔ　ｔｈｅ　ｈｅｌｌ　ｉｓ　ａ　ＲＥＬＡＴＩＯＮＳＨＩＰ？


ＩＦ　ＩＴ　ＡＩＮ’Ｔ　ＡＢＯＵＴ　ＤＯＬＬＡＲＳ，　ＩＴ　ＤＯＮ’Ｔ　ＭＡＫＥ　ＣＥＮＴＳ！

Lady Bandit

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lovelychristina
Member since 6-Jan-09
41 posts		 02-Apr-10, 08:00 AM (PST)
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17. "RE: How do you have a relationship being a provider"
In response to message #0
 
   I have been in a relationship with a great guy for 3 years and also live with him. It works for me because I don't provide "full service." Of course, I don't make as much, but I also have a "normal" part-time job, too.

Hope this helps. Good Luck!

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Paige1on1
Member since 1-Nov-09
294 posts		 14-May-10, 10:39 AM (PST)
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19. "RE: How do you have a relationship being a provider"
In response to message #0
 
Sierra916~~~
Exactly what is it you do?

You've supposedly been a member since 2006
and have NO PROFILE and NO REVIEW HISTORY? ??

What gives?

~Ladies, I wouldn't communicate with this person
in ANY way!

Just my 2cents!

~Paige


~Always Mattress Soaking Good®~

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Shannonstar18
Member since 15-Nov-08
237 posts		 14-May-10, 04:19 PM (PST)
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20. "RE: How do you have a relationship being a provider"
In response to message #19
 
   Just because a girl doesn't have a review or ad under their profile doesn't mean they are LE or not for real. The profile I use when I post provider ads on RB are not Shannon (my real middle name). The reason I am very outspoken and a lot of clients would boycott me just for speaking my mind on my posts. I have no posts on PB under the profile I advertise on RB. I keep my PB and RB profiles seperate. This way no one can hold against me what I say on PB and I don't have to kiss clients asses on here like a lot of providers do. But I also believe you have some asshole tricks who post on here like they are a provider trying to justify cheap rates and rbgfe, they want to brainwash us lol I say they can kiss my ass!

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destineylove6969
Member since 21-Apr-10
2 posts		 05-Aug-10, 12:06 PM (PST)
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21. "RE: How do you have a relationship being a provider"
In response to message #0
 
   LAST EDITED ON 05-Aug-10 AT 12:07 PM (PST)
 
hey so my man and i were together for 2 years split up for a lil wile and wen he came back i told him i had gotten into escorting and we boroke up faught and argued and a few months later here i am today still wrking and my man is my man again and he is starting to understand that these men are nothing to me except money.. they pay my rent they buy our nice things and i dont feel for them like i feel for my man. it is just a job i just do extra special things w him and make sure to put the extrA effort in to show him that i apriciate him so much for loving me as much as he does and understanding... :) good luck
-Sierra
Sac Town

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miabarcelona
Member since 2-Apr-09
135 posts		 01-Sep-10, 10:06 AM (PST)
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23. "RE: How do you have a relationship being a provider"
In response to message #21
 
Hey, good for you Sierra! I am in a similar situation. I don't have time to post it here. But, I'm really happy for you. Mia

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summerrayne
Member since 27-Apr-09
3209 posts		 11-Sep-10, 02:48 PM (PST)
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24. "RE: How do you have a relationship being a provider"
In response to message #0
 
LAST EDITED ON 11-Sep-10 AT 02:48 PM (PST)
 
I was honest from DAY ONE.

I met him on my bowling league about 6 months or so into "the business."

I figured it was a good acid test. I didn't want him to waste his time and I wasn't about to waste mine.

He's blue-collar guy. A big, chubby guy with a happy face that makes me laugh and is adopting my daughter. We got married last year.

The first thing I did when we got serious is eliminate FS.

Even though I "love on" my clients - I guess I just compartmentalize the whole act of making love now with my husband.

We probably only have actual intercourse 2x a month. Running two businesses, both of us in school and with a child - we're just too busy. We're very affectionate otherwise and talk about everything.

The main thing is - he lets me run my business (all by myelf), never asks questions, cares what I put in my ads or anything else. If I chose to stop FBSM+ someday and strictly do therapeutic massagge - he leaves it to my choice.

He runs the credit repair/estate planning business and is in the process of opening his own auto shop.

Sex just isn't that important to us - it's more about friendship and intimacy than anything else.

I feel blessed. It was kinda difficult for him to accept in the begining - but once he adjusted and understood - we never looked back.

It's always Summer at my place! xoxo

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