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JASMIN3
Member since 29-Dec-08
54 posts		 26-Apr-09, 10:50 AM (PST)
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"Have you ever had a serious relationship with a hobbyis"
 
How was it? Did he ask you to stop providing? Did you? Was there a trust issue there?
I decided to leave RB for a hobbyist and I totally looked past all of the women that he had seen...because oh boy was he a major hobbyist.... and he asked me to leave RB...I did??? I decided that I wanted to try the relationship thing...but he doesn't trust me He constantly accuses me of cheating and being with other men...It is so emotionally draining! I love him to death but I know I can not be with him and it just plainly SUCKS... No matter how much time I spend with him...no matter what I do...he is never happy. If I miss a call from him and I don't notice until 20 mins later or something he flips out accusing me of being with someone else. He finally accused me of something a few days ago and totally will not speak with me...I am so sad...He didn't even let me explain and the fact is that it was just a big misunderstanding and I didn't do anything to possibly hurt him ....
Should I forget about him and let it go or should I let him have some space and try to work things out????? Ladies what would you do in a situation like this? Can a relationship that started with a connection on RB work or is it just a lost cause?


KISSES...

JASIE

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RoyalD
Member since 29-Jun-07
327 posts		 27-Apr-09, 00:22 AM (PST)
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1. "RE: Have you ever had a serious relationship with a hob"
In response to message #0
 
Hey Jasmin,

RUN,don't walk away from this "hobbyist",gawd I hate
that word.He sounds like one cold piece of work.I'm
guessing that you are very young and he is quite a
bit older,right?

From what I gather,he sounds like a major control freak,
extremely insecure,passive aggressive and lays major
guilt trips..All big no-no's in my book.I didn't see
you mention anything positive about the dude,so why are
you with him again?Obviously something isn't right about
the whole situation,and you know it.

I wouldn't waste my time with people that treat you in
such a disrespectful manner and try to make YOU feel
less of a person..You deserve much,much better than that.
And if you don't see that now,you will someday..Be strong.


RD

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IsabelleVerdan
Member since 22-Nov-06
1027 posts		 27-Apr-09, 00:40 AM (PST)
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2. "RE: Have you ever had a serious relationship with a hob"
In response to message #0
 
   BAIL!!!-- if he really loved you, he wouldn't treat you this way. I'm speaking from personal experience from multiple relationships...

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Safire1
Member since 9-Apr-08
1915 posts		 27-Apr-09, 06:13 AM (PST)
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3. "RE: Have you ever had a serious relationship with a hob"
In response to message #2
 
Don't tell her that! Then she will make it her agenda to become someone "he could really love".

This is not about him. He probably is incapable of love in the "true" sense of the word.

This is about how she is willing to let a man treat her. Hopefully this experience will teach her what to avoid in the future if she chooses to learn from it.

The good thing about being mature, it's so easy to spot what we are NOT looking for in a man.

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JASMIN3
Member since 29-Dec-08
54 posts		 27-Apr-09, 12:53 PM (PST)
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4. "RE: Have you ever had a serious relationship with a hob"
In response to message #3
 
Thank you for your input...I really do appreciate it I really did not like hearing it but I do know that it is exactly what I needed to hear. I feel so nieve for allowing him to treat me this way...and sad that I gave a piece of myself to someone that totally did not deserve it
Safire you are correct...a few people that I have confided in have told me to run from him and when they told me that...I didn't listen...instead I wanted to fight even harder and do anything possible to become someone that "he could really love"...
Thank you so much for the eye opener...I know now that this emotional rollercoaster will be never ending regardless of how much I tried to be his perfect angel...
Gosh...I need some retail therapy now lol!!!!!

Kisses...

Jasie

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RoyalD
Member since 29-Jun-07
327 posts		 27-Apr-09, 01:09 PM (PST)
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5. "RE: Have you ever had a serious relationship with a hob"
In response to message #4
 
You're welcome.

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Emilie
Charter Member
222 posts		 27-Apr-09, 10:15 PM (PST)
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6. "RE: Have you ever had a serious relationship with a hob"
In response to message #4
 
   A good friend with a psychology background once told me that the cheater in a relationship is usually the more paranoid one. So if he's paranoid and suspicious of you, it's probably because he lies and cheats all the time and knows how easy it is. You didn't mention if he's still "hobbying" while ordering you to quit making your living. If he promised not to, I'll bet he still is anyway. Take the above advice and flee this man. The longer you wait the worse it will get.

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ariahorny
Member since 16-Oct-09
90 posts		 23-Nov-09, 11:19 PM (PST)
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13. "RE: Have you ever had a serious relationship with a hob"
In response to message #4
 
   aria horny

i know how you feel. a relationship with a hobbyist can work,if he truly understands what you are doing and why you are doing it,and someone who doesnt constantly, falsley accuse you,and who treats you like a lady,i have been dating a hobbyist for 4 months now and things are going great,my family loves him,and i think i might,but too soon to tell.

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IsabelleVerdan
Member since 22-Nov-06
1027 posts		 29-Apr-09, 01:11 AM (PST)
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7. "RE: Have you ever had a serious relationship with a hob"
In response to message #3
 
   I agree with all of that-- let me add that he doesn't love you, likely cannot love anyone and will never stop criticizing you, ever. Run away!

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claudiacat
Member since 22-Jul-08
85 posts		 29-Apr-09, 09:09 AM (PST)
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8. "RE: Have you ever had a serious relationship with a hob"
In response to message #0
 
He is abusive to you. You never should have to over explain your whereabouts. That is a classic of abusers, they make you feel like you have to prove to them. I really feel you should speak to a counselor. I only believe that because on some level you complied with his wishes. I saw your profile(you are from Fresno?) try the Marjoree Mason Center. I called the center for you they said walk ins on Thursdays. The procedure is you just walk in at a little before 6:30PM and sit down in a group where you take your turn in discussion of your feelings. This is all free. Please I advise you to go once. If you want and need please inbox me and I will go with you. It is no trouble for me.

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lovelylillian
Member since 24-Mar-09
180 posts		 06-May-09, 10:47 AM (PST)
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9. "RE: Have you ever had a serious relationship with a hob"
In response to message #0
 
what is your first feeling? that is the one you should follow

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purechocol8
Member since 20-Sep-04
8366 posts		 06-May-09, 05:23 PM (PST)
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10. "RE: Have you ever had a serious relationship with a hob"
In response to message #0
 

No but some dumb ass provider is having a baby for one.

I maynot be for you, but I am for me

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MarvelousMarie
Member since 9-Jan-07
2909 posts		 25-Jun-09, 01:31 AM (PST)
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11. "RE: Have you ever had a serious relationship with a hob"
In response to message #0
 
Run, far far away from him!!


luv,
MarvelousMarie
Meow!(tm)

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dakotagirl
Member since 6-Jul-09
183 posts		 15-Sep-09, 11:59 PM (PST)
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12. "RE: Have you ever had a serious relationship with a hob"
In response to message #11
 
Run like hell-
I have been in the same type relationship - he is abusive-
To give up your career and you life- for someone that is controlling you- It will be painful at first - but you will look back and be glad- you ended it- in box me if you need help- Michelle

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NaomiHarris
Member since 4-Nov-09
142 posts		 24-Nov-09, 04:46 PM (PST)
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14. "RE: Have you ever had a serious relationship with a hob"
In response to message #0
 
LAST EDITED ON 24-Nov-09 AT 04:48 PM (PST)
 
Don't EVER date hobbyist or sugardaddies. The relationship is messed up from the start! They are only trying to get you for free. Keep what you do a secret and get yourself a regular boyfriend if your willing to stop working to have one. If you want to keep working, find yourself a nice fuck buddy who accepts what you do. That's what I did and it's great!

I Sugar Daddies!!!!

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Asianparadise4u
Member since 19-Apr-08
52 posts		 09-Dec-09, 03:54 PM (PST)
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15. "RE: Have you ever had a serious relationship with a hob"
In response to message #0
 
   Get your head on right. He is not a hobbyist, he's a trick, no matter how much you try to sugarcoat it, he a trick!

Don't ever get involved with tricks. Once you start seeing these people as tricks, you won't want to get involved with them. Some of them are cool, nice, friendly, whatever, they are still tricks.

Don't mix business with pleasure, it will mess you up in the end. Get yourself together, move the fuck on cuz you stronger than that. He's only a trick, hell theres a million of tricks running around all around the world, you'll find yourself a better one. If you do get involved with a trick, make sure you getting money still

The only way I'd get involved with a trick was if he was a sugar daddy and paying my way for everything, other than that, trick, move out of my way, you blocking me from success

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SexyChocAzz
Member since 20-Dec-08
441 posts		 18-Jan-10, 09:04 AM (PST)
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16. "RE: Have you ever had a serious relationship with a hob"
In response to message #15
 
Well, I like to be optimistic and think a relationship can work out with a hobbyist. As long as you both are willing to work on it. There are a lot of issues to overcome when it comes to this type of relationship.

And you're talking to someone who just stop seeing a hobbyist because we were emotionally attached to each other, but he wasn't willing to give love a try. So I know by experience. But don't get fooled I was still getting the cash. But once your heart is invested into something like that, money doesn't really matter.

I wish you luck!
-Trina


~I'm the one your mother warned you about~

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delilah_wilson13
Member since 22-Jan-10
2 posts		 23-Jan-10, 00:55 AM (PST)
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17. "RE: Have you ever had a serious relationship with a hob"
In response to message #16
 
   I've tried it twice and I'm still single. So draw your own conclusions.

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Shannonstar18
Member since 15-Nov-08
216 posts		 31-Jan-10, 07:13 AM (PST)
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18. "RE: Have you ever had a serious relationship with a hob"
In response to message #17
 
   LAST EDITED ON 31-Jan-10 AT 07:19 AM (PST)
 
I would never have a serious relationship with a trick because that is what a hobbiest is A TRICK. Who do you think invented the word hobbiest? A trick did to sugarcoat what he is. They have one purpose and that is to pay me and the more they pay me the better. They are not your boyfriends or your sweethearts they are your tricks and clients at best. If a trick wants to be your boyfriend he is just trying to get free pussy or at a bargain rate lol. For a prostitute to have a relationship with a square she has a very slim chance for success. But with a trick it has no chance for success. They are not even your friends, at best they are friendly business associates and great and interesting clients. Don't let it go no further than that because you will be setting yourself up for heartbreak and failure.

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summerrayne
Member since 27-Apr-09
2797 posts		 09-Feb-10, 12:52 PM (PST)
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19. "RE: Have you ever had a serious relationship with a hob"
In response to message #0
 
LAST EDITED ON 09-Feb-10 AT 12:53 PM (PST)
 
Cheaters project their insecurities on YOU.

Funny how womanizers are so insecure and jealous most of the time.

I've tried them on for size a couple of times but don't like the controlling behavior.

Unannounced pop-ups at my house and accusations a few times....

and I only last a couple weeks before I kick 'em to the CURB.

I don't like drama.

He's not worth the grief.

I look at it this way - there's only room for TWO people in my lifeboat - myself and my little girl
(my sons are grown and on their own now).

If someone gets in my lifeboat and starts takin' on water - I kick 'em out in short order and they can SWIM WITH THE SHARKS!

I've got no time for "energy suckers."

Lose him, Darlin. You'll be lonely at first - but you'll look back on this relationship and see at not as a failure - but just another lesson in this "classroom" we call life.

**HUGS**

It's always Summer at my place! xoxo

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JASMIN3
Member since 29-Dec-08
54 posts		 19-Mar-10, 10:33 PM (PST)
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20. "RE: Have you ever had a serious relationship with a hob"
In response to message #19
 
Thank you all for the advice

KISSES...

JASIE

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candyrain36
Member since 27-Aug-08
1127 posts		 01-Apr-10, 01:21 AM (PST)
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21. "RE: Have you ever had a serious relationship with a hob"
In response to message #0
 
I would if channing Tatum or paul walker walked through the door in looks and werent cheap and stinky but thats wishful thinking so hell no I would not.I think everytime a guy tries to make a offer like that its a attempt to get free pussy.If a guy is really wanting a serious relationship ask him for a hr rate without service and see how much hes into us lol.

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Alysha_TulipGFE
Member since 4-May-10
75 posts		 05-Jun-10, 10:19 AM (PST)
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22. "RE: Have you ever had a serious relationship with a hob"
In response to message #0
 
  
Don't do it. I agree run as fast as you can. Seriously, I'd keep a huge wall up about having any outside relationships with hobbyist.
It can cause huge problems n your work & with your emotions. Unless he is going support you take care of you its not worth it.
Much love,
Alysha

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AsianCollegeStudent
Member since 3-Jun-10
20 posts		 06-Jun-10, 10:14 AM (PST)
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23. "RE: Have you ever had a serious relationship with a hob"
In response to message #0
 
   The closest relationship that I can ever have wit a "hobbiest" , client, or trick ... whatever you wanna call them.. it would have to be a friendship. I could never fuck wit them. That's hella nasty. I need money , why get envolved in a relationship.? Hella gross .

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lola_kitty
Member since 27-Mar-09
85 posts		 03-Aug-10, 02:20 AM (PST)
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24. "RE: Have you ever had a serious relationship with a hob"
In response to message #23
 
So does he pay for anything, like your bills buy you a car pay for dinners cloths shopping anything like that? No!!! So why should he make you quit what ur doing if he's not paying for shit, he's prolly paranoid as hell because he's out paying other girls.

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linaXTC
Member since 23-Apr-10
1 posts		 20-Aug-10, 12:05 PM (PST)
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25. "RE: Have you ever had a serious relationship with a hob"
In response to message #0
 
   LAST EDITED ON 20-Aug-10 AT 12:11 PM (PST)
 
from my experience Hobbyist are Hobbyist because that is the best relationship they are capable of having. The paid one hour relationship that takes care of their sexual needs and maybe some of their emotional needs. If they were capable of being in a healthier, more balanced,reciprocal relationship they would be in one. Maybe the same can be said for us providers. The one hour appointment ensures us about what we are giving and what we are getting in exchange so we don't end up empty, drained.
So as a provider if you get into a relationship with a hobbyist you can expect it not to be the healthiest. It could be a huge, painful learning experience and experiment with boundaries. You can't really learn new emotional ways without experience. Learning lessons is usually painful. You can expect these things. Take care of yourself and for God's sake don't let im move into your place. Good luck.

Lina

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